Standup writer contributes to blog!

One of the best standup comic writers I know did this little bit today to share with some friends. Thought I would share Bradlee Hartzog's funny take on a couple of things.

So I'm watching baseball last night and realized that the coaches wear the same uniforms as the players but it doesn't seem weird to anyone. They have on the pants, shirt, hat and even the cleats. What? Are the coaches hoping they will get into the game? Maybe if enough players get hurt, they will let us play! This doesn't happen in other sports. You don't see a football coach with pads and a helmet on. Maybe they should? Wear a helmet with the one crossbar like kickers and punters used to. Coaches get hit more than kickers and punters anyway. I would love to see a 60 year old basketball coach in shorts, a jersey tank top and maybe a head band.

As a society we are getting lazier. You can tell this by looking at the history of soap. First there was a bar of soap, then apparently people decided it was too much work to lift a bar of soap. "Can't we just push down on a spout thing and have it in liquid form?" Then all I have to do is work up the lather. Then we got even lazier. Now they have soap that is already lathered for you. All you have to do is wash it off. No work required. Is that a job for people? "Lather up this soap and then put it into containers so other people can use it to wash their hands too." Now there is hand sanitizer. We don't have to turn on the sink or dry off our hands. Before long you will just have to touch your hands to something and they will be clean. Probably by magic.

In the food world, everything has been turned into baby size. Everyone loves baby sized food. We have baby carrots, baby corn, baby pickles. Veil is from a calf (bovine baby), but I make one comment about eating someone's children and everyone freaks out. I just don't understand you people.

Brad